From Resentment to Peace --Transcript

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Hi everyone, it's Rosie. Welcome to Radiohead Space and to Wednesday.

So a few years ago, I had a falling out with a family member. I'd like to keep the details private, but let's just say that a debate over something trivial, spiraled into a bitter feud, and before I knew it, we weren't speaking.

This divide wasn't just a rift between two people. It was a pool of resentment that cast a shadow over family gatherings, causing them to become few and far between. And that brings us to today's theme. How can forgiveness play a role in helping us transition from resentment to peace? How can we entangle the web of her and find a path to reconciliation?

It's exhausting, but sometimes you have to take the high road, even if you've taken it time and time again. But it can help to remember that forgiveness doesn't mean giving away your power. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

In my case, part of the reason why I fell into resentment was because I didn't want to have to be the one yet again to extend to the olive branch. But the feud with my family member wasn't just hurting our relationship. It was compromising the harmony of our entire family.

Through a lot of introspection, I recognized that forgiveness wasn't a sign of weakness, but a symbol of strength. It was about releasing the weight of resentment. That didn't mean that I agreed with him, or that I somehow co-signed his behavior. It meant that I was unwilling to allow him to disturb my internal peace.

So I took the first step and I called him in hopes of bearing the hatchet. I didn't have much of a plan, aside from approaching the call with compassion in mind. The conversation was challenging, but it opened a door for dialogue. And after that, there was a period of avoiding each other, which we both needed. But, over time, we found common ground, understanding, and eventually decided that some topics need to remain outside of our conversations.

We moved from resentment to peace, not by forgetting our disagreement, but by understanding and learning from it. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree, and that's okay. I can still love someone, even if I don't agree with them, as long as their actions aren't harmful to others.

So today, I wanted to share some practices that helped me get to a place of peace.

Number one, understand forgiveness. Remember, it's not about co-signing hurtful behavior. Let's make that clear. It's about releasing resentment to make space for peace. An exercise that I find helpful is imagining what it would be like to not carry that burden, or replay a situation over and over again. Try it, and see if any feelings of relief come up for you. You can use that as a sort of crystal ball for forgiveness.

Number two, don't wait for the other person to take the first step. Be brave, and initiate the conversation if doing so doesn't harm you or others. We often wait for someone else to take initiative because we don't want to feel rejected. If you feel called to make the first move, do it. Send the text, send the email, make the call. You might be surprised by the other person's reaction.

Number three, practice patience. Reconciliation takes time. Be patient with yourself and others during the process. You may be the type of person who wants to discuss a line item right away, like myself. Others may need some time, or vice versa, patience is the key. So once you've opened the lines of communication, let it go. You just have to trust that this will resolve itself at the right time.

And for some extra guidance on how to cultivate inner peace, check out the finding call meditation in the app.

As we conclude today's episode, my friends, remember, forgiveness is not a destination. It's a journey, and the journey is to go from resentment to peace, from understanding to acceptance, from hurt to healing. Until next time, keep growing, keep forgiving, and most importantly, keep loving. Take care.